(Quick reminder: Neither this blog or any of its contents express the opinions or sentiments of 3D Buzz, Inc.)
So it's been a while since I posted. Things have been very insane 'round here, what with Buzz going to Oregon and all. Funny story in that, by the way. Well, funny only in the way that you can rest assured that there was indeed a happy ending. Anyhow, Buzz had one of his suitcases lost during a flight which had already been much delayed due to raging thunderstorms over Texas. As it turns out, the case lost contained not only all of his clothes for the trip, but also all of his electronic equipment (printer, recording devices, iPod, etc.) but also his preparatory materials for the class that he was about to teach. When I called him, to say that he sounded "stressed" would be similar to saying that George W. Bush sounds a tad illiterate. In any case, he did eventually get his bag and as far as I can tell, the trip is going very well.
On to the reason why I'm here...
You see, I use this little corner of the web to say the things that I either can't or shouldn't say on 3D Buzz. Now, this may indeed be bad practice on some level, but there are a blessed few out there who may want to know how things really can be over here on the OTHER side of 3D BuzzLand.
So the other day (several days ago, actually) a tragedy happened in London of which I am certain we are all familiar at this point. And, naturally, a few threads popped up in the forums in which people expressed their feelings on the matter and made various statements regarding the situation. One of our moderators started removing posts that could have wound up causing trouble, as per the function we ask them to fulfill.
Like always, we had the same group of folks stand up and shout "Censorship!" These people never cease to amaze me. For some strange reason, they think that free speech exists on the Internet within private sites. The kind folks here at Blogger could at some point decide that I've crossed some sort of line and remove everything I've said. Do you know what I could do about it? Not a damn thing. This is their house, and I abide by their rules. It's just like when you go to a friends house who happens to be devoutly religious. If you stalk around the living room blaspheming, they're probably going to begin by asking you to shut up, then they're going to kick you out. We do the same, except that our version of telling you to "shut up" is wonderfully retroactive.
So this one fellow (who shall inevitably remain nameless, may his user account rest in peace) decided to inform us all that he believed that users should be allowed to make political debate posts as long as they stay rational and level headed. Nice, eh?
I very concisely explained to this gentleman that allowing such activities is not entirely unlike allowing highly explosive fumes to be allowed to freely mingle in the smoking section of the break room of a nuclear power plant. We don't allow that kind of thing simply because rationality is relative; eventually, someone WILL offend someone else and there WILL be a problem and I WILL have to get involved and every single time I have to do that it makes me like the human race just a little less.
Then this fellow seems to think that I flamed him.
This is where things got rich. He comes back saying the most awful things: The uses have their tongues up mine and Buzz's asses, et cetera and so forth. You can find my post if you're halfway clever. I did not flame this person. I did, however, look him directly in the eye and say, "You are wrong. You are very wrong. Here are all of the reasons why."
I have discovered that the vast majority of the Internet's population have two very sad misconceptions on the state of public posts on private sites. The first is that there is some sort of "Bill of Rights" that expresses that all opinions should be allowed. The second misconception is that if you have an opinion about something, that no one is allowed to tell you why it's wrong. Apparently, as soon as you explain to someone that their idea simply won't work on a practical level, you have now flamed them and must suffer the wrath of their waves of fourth-grade profanity.
So I had the fucker banned.
I don't have time for that kind of shit. The fact is this, and will ALWAYS be this: I tell it LIKE IT IS. I call it exactly how I see it. If you don't have the guts to withstand that, then either don't fucking cross me or get the hell off my site. Hell, you don't have to leave, just don't bring your baggage my way unless you think it holds enough water to be called legitimate.
I will admit when I am wrong. I have very occasionally jumped down the throats of people at the wrong time and I have paid for it and apologized for it. Ask around.
Here's the thing, and this is something LOTS of people do not understand about me and 3D Buzz:
I fucking love what I'm doing, period.
This simple statement has a huge list of ramifications. It means that I am willing to put forth inhuman hours to get this job done, and accept peanuts for my work even though this is my only job. Most importantly, it means I don't really expect anything back from anyone.
You know, that reminds me of a huge revelation I had while watching Batman Begins. (Minor spoiler) Right there at the end, when Gordon says to Batsy, "I never thanked you." Bats looks over his shoulder and says, "And you'll never have to."
That's really the way I feel about 3D Buzz. I deeply appreciate all the well-wishings and thank-yous I receive, but they're sure as hell not the reason that I do this. I'm not here to create a legion of fanboys or 3D Buzz groupies. I'm here because of one simple thing:
I understand the feeling of wanting to learn and understand something that feels like magic. I remember the first time I really started to look at computer graphics (and knew that what I was looking at was indeed computer generated) during The Last Starfighter. (I had seen Tron previously, but I was so young that the idea of computer animation hadn't quite hit home yet). I realized that these people had used a flipping SUPERCOMPUTER to take something that would have been virtually impossible to create with standard special effects, and made it completely believable. Amazing, isn't it, that one could consider the graphics of The Last Starfighter believable?
But for so long I felt that it was completely out of my star. It was something that could only be learned atop some secret Ivory Tower that was probably guarded by some mythical dragon and was buried deep in some interdimensional portal in the heart of the Hollywood hills. I never thought I could learn it, much less have the opportunity to learn it.
I was wrong.
I found a way, and it changed my whole outlook on life. I suddenly felt that you can really accomplish and achieve anything if your heart really wants it and is willing to chase it hard enough. It felt good. This deep moment of self-realization that cannot be adequately put into words, despite the vernacular of the author. ;)
On top of that, there's this moment when you're looking at something on the big screen and suddenly you realize that you CAN scrutinize the things you see. You understand HOW things work, WHY an artist chose to do one thing rather than another. Suddenly, it all makes sense. And while I must admit it does remove a layer or two of the "magic" effect, there is something deeply satisfying in that feeling of enlightenment. The feeling that "I could DO that, given the time."
That's why I do this... even if you never get your job in the industry, I want to at least share that feeling.
That's why I take my job personally. To me, teaching is personal. When I come across a student who is truly struggling, it tears me up. I want more than anything for them to get over their hurdle and overcome their problem. That's something you won't get from the "strictly business" instructor.
Speaking of business (and taking the level of this rant to a new level), I got this message from a canceling Member Sponsor the other day. He was upset that we don't give enough to the Member Sponsors, and that while we SAY that the Member Sponsors are a priority, he felt that this was far from the case. He acknowledged that we were busy with Maya Fundamentals stuff, but stressed that this was our problem and not his and that we were making a HUGE mistake.
And you know what? I agreed... mostly. (mostly)
We have had to put the obligations of the Member Sponsors on the back burner. We didn't want to, but it simply came down to a choice: Do we either keep everyone happy, or get this dream (the Maya class) made into a reality? We knew going in that if we dedicated the necessary time into getting the Maya class going, that it was going to piss a few people off. More importantly, though, we know the value and requirements of making omelets, if you take my meaning.
Well, this little egg gave us what I'm sure he felt was a pretty strong thrashing, which on the whole, I was okay with. Again, I agreed with the bulk of his sentiments.
Then he had to put in a PS...
He singled me out and blasted me for pissing too many people off and being a poor business person and all sorts of other shit. I wish fuckers like this would get a clue. The problem is that they don't know how good they've got it. I can only assume that (due to the timing) this person was making reference to the thread I mentioned above, perhaps not. I don't care. Either way, I'm not going to stop shooting from the hip just because the occasional pansy runs home crying because I told them that I didn't agree with them.
The fact is, most folks don't know how good they've got it. If I were a good business person, I would have quit 3D Buzz and gone somewhere where my skills would earn me some decent money (not that I'm complaining, just giving you the facts). If I were a good business person, you'd pay for our stuff WHAT IT WAS WORTH, meaning the Maya class would cost people about $3,000. It's still a steal, even at that price, considering that you'll learn more than you will at universities, and YES, I have had that confirmed by university graduates currently enrolled in the class.
Most importantly, if I were ANY KIND OF BUSINESS person, 3D Buzz would be completely a pay site that thinks of each and every one of you as a serial number with a potential dollar value. I don't.
So maybe I need to become a business person. Then everyone would be happy, wouldn't they? I'm sure our bank accounts would be, anyway. We would lose 99% of our user base, and that 1% could still make us rich.
But that's not why we're here.
So to people who don't like the way I talk to people or how I explain myself to others and especially to the vast majority of people who seem to be listening to Janet Jackson's "What Have You Done for Me Lately?", I have one thing to say...
Deal with it.
Or don't. You can always leave, because the fact of the matter is that you are a minority. Most folks can stomach that some people will have responses to their statements in which the two sides might not meet eye to eye. Most folks are happy to receive ANYTHING without having to pay for it, and most folks are willing to accept that if you want an instructor who takes YOUR education personally, that there are some other aspects of that instructor that you're going to have to accept as well.
Thanks for reading.
Back to work.
